Thursday, May 28, 2009

the trouble with sharing

(tough man and his tattoo - he came back from grandma's house with bugs)

Our son isn't particularly good at sharing. Maybe no tots are? Sometimes he is very good about sharing and distributing his toys/food/whatever, but only on his terms. He's very much an in charge kind of guy. He'll push carrot sticks and grapes on daddy until daddy begs him to stop. But he still isn't used to having another strong willed little person around.

Now that our daughter is mobile she is much happier. And she is keeping our son hopping removing his toys out of her reach. He is very possessive of his things. I have no idea how much of this is normal 3.5 year old stuff and how much is our spirited gift, but he gets right mad if she gets the wrong thing. Well, nearly anything. We talk to him a lot about sharing and about how she is just checking things out and will soon drop it and move on. But if he does not get the item away from her he sits there like a pot boiling over the whole time she is checking it out. And then he sighs a great sigh of relief when she drops is. He even took over the exersaucer - it's his car.

Our son can be very efficient at removing all interesting play things from an area, leaving his sister with a cloth diaper wipe, a diaper, mama's shirt, a paper towel tube, and a few other odds and ends to entertain herself in the bedroom. She used to get mad, but I think she's getting used to it. Sometimes it is even a game. He moves things a few feet away, she follows, he moves, she moves, he growls, she laughs. I'm also not sure how much of this is his game and how much is serious. Basically, I have no clue what's going on and how to deal with it. So we try to keep some sort of peace and find a few non-controversial things for our daughter to play with. Usually the boring things that she doesn't want.

But the last few days our daughter just leaves the room if there is nothing worthy of her time. We're gonna need some major peace keeping she learns to walk. We have a self motivated, self propelled baby on the loose and a possessive, spirited tot in the same space. I'd love tips from other attachment parenting peace keepers....

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