Sunday, May 24, 2009

bouncing baby

Today I am bouncing a sick baby for her morning nap. This is only the second or third cold that she has had (so much for the well baby visit last week - I think it created a sick baby by visiting the doctors office), and she is not happy about having a nose filled with snot. Last night she had a lot of trouble sleeping lying down, so my husband (who has a cold now, too) or I had to hold her pretty much all night. Not conducive to sleep. This morning she is fussy and clingy, so I have been wearing her most of the morning. We decided that she needed a good nap and the best way to get that was to wrap her, so here I bounce. And really, I'm enjoying it. I never know when it will be the last good wrap-nap. Warm baby snuggled on my chest, breathing gently, relaxed bare legs and warm little toes hanging at my sides.

My baby is growing up. Probably my last baby. That is hard for me to admit, but I know that our family is full, and in reality I'm ready for some sleep and easier. But still, it's all happening so fast. Two weeks ago our daughter learned to crawl, a few days ago she learned to pull up to standing by herself. One evening I left her in the middle of the bedroom floor while I went to put diapers in the washer and when I returned she was standing at the changing table looking very pleased with herself. My husband says that she likes to stand at the TV cabinet and adjust knobs and push buttons while our son is watching is lunch-time video. And she has discovered the towel drawer in the kitchen and thinks that is great fun. Yesterday she smashed her fingers in it once, but that did not deter her for long. We can no longer leave her anywhere unattended because she is Trouble! Having a tot and a toddler in the house is going to be quite a handful!

I am trying to be conscious of both my daughter's need to practice her new found skills and mobility while also meeting her needs for being held close. I am trying to be very aware of her need to reconnect with me and to be available when she reaches for me or tries to crawl onto my lap. Since I am only home for a few waking hours during the day I try to be sure to wear her when I can instead of trying to get her to entertain herself by herself while I do things. She still very much needs her mommy time. And I still very much need baby time. Now balancing all that with giving my son enough mommy time is another matter, and something I am still working on every day.

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